


The Secret Stash

by afteriwake



Series: The Further Voyages Of The Starship Enterprise [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Amused Kirk, Drink With Me, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Friendship, Funny, Gen, Grumpy McCoy, Humor, Kirk Found Out, Male Friendship, POV Kirk, Secret Bar, Starship Enterprise (Star Trek), keeping secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 02:50:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6686185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McCoy & Scotty are keeping a secret from Kirk, and Kirk finds out and decides he wants in on their secret stash of booze. They let him, of course, since he <i>is</i> their friend and Captain, but not without a little payback for being nosy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secret Stash

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GreenSkyOverMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenSkyOverMe/gifts).



> So this is another fic written for **GreenSkyOverMe** , inspired by a thread I saw on Tumblr [here](http://sadieyuki.tumblr.com/post/142274985804/1701enterprise-why-dont-we-talk-about-the-fact), about " _the fact that according to the official Star Trek constellation class Enterprise blue prints, the Chief Engineer and the chief medical officer’s quarters share a bathroom_ ," and the assumption that it has been turned into a shared liquor cabinet. I suggested to **GreenSkyOverMe** that this thread be something I turn into a story and was given the go-ahead, and ta-da! This is what came about.

He’d wondered for months now why Bones and Scotty were so eager to get back to their quarters after the end of their day. He’d extend an offer to have them come join him in the mess, or even in his own quarters, and while everyone else seemed game the two of them would get shifty-eyed and then go on about how they were tired, about how it had been a long day and they really needed their rest, and then they’d shuffle off in the direction of their quarters and he’d be left scratching his head, thinking in his head how he was calling bullshit.

The first few times he’d just kind of shrugged it off. It hadn’t really been _that_ big a deal, to be honest; Bones was a grump on his best of days and an antisocial bastard on his worst, and Scotty could be kind of annoying sometimes if he wanted to be blunt (of course, so could he if he was being brutally honest, which was probably why they got along so well). But they were two of his three best friends on the ship and even though he _liked_ Spock, Spock wasn’t the most scintillating company, especially when his girlfriend was around. Kirk knew where he ranked in Spock’s worldview when stacked against Uhura.

So after a while, he decided to figure out just what in the hell made their quarters that much more interesting than his charming company.

It didn’t take long to get a copy of the blueprints, and being Captain of the Enterprise _did_ have its perks, so when the shifts were done he was waiting in their shared bathroom, sipping a glass of Skagaran whiskey when they opened the doors leading to it. “See, _now_ I know why you two are always in such a rush to get over here each night when your shifts are over,” he said, enjoying the taste of the very illegal whiskey. “Damn, this stuff really does pack a wallop. How’d you manage to get it?”

“I’ve got connections,” Scotty said, staring at his captain with wide eyes. “Captain, you aren’t going to…?”

“Confiscate all of this? Dump it down the drain? Move it to my own private reserve? Rat you out to the Admiral?” Kirk said, taking another sip. He frowned slightly and shook his head. “Hell no. Not as long as you share and it stays between the three of us.”

“Should have known the other booze-hound on this ship would have found out sooner or later,” McCoy grumbled, crossing his arms.

“Well, you two should have socialized more instead of blowing me off all the time,” Kirk said, pointing at McCoy with his glass. “Then I wouldn’t have gotten suspicious and checked the blueprints and seen that the Chief Engineer and the chief medical officer’s quarters share a bathroom, and that knowing the two of you guys might have set up something like this and decided it was in my duties as your captain to check it out.” He brought his glass to his lips and had the rest of his drink. “Damn impressive collection of liquor you’ve got, too.”

McCoy’s annoyance slid off his face as a look of pride emerged. “Better than my collection at home. We pick some up at every port of call we can.”

“I recognized some of it but not all of it,” Kirk said. “What’s some of the best stuff you’ve got?”

Scotty looked over the bottles, pointing out various ones as he spoke. “There’s the Aldebaran whiskey, the Maralthian Seev-ale, the Altairian brandy, the Saurian brandy, the Breshtanti ale, the Hazari ale, the Draylaxian whiskey, the Yridian brandy, the Ennan VI ale, Ktarian beer on tap, thanks to me...we even have Firewine.”

“You have a Klingon alcoholic drink?” Kirk said, impressed.

McCoy nodded. “The stuff is potent. Cost us a bottle of Altairian Grand Premier and nearly cost Scotty Keenser too.”

“I’d have been pissed if you lost me a crew member for a bottle of booze,” Kirk said, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s why I said ‘nearly,’” McCoy said. “I take it you want to try it?”

“If I almost lost a crew member for you to to get it, yeah,” Kirk said, holding his glass out to McCoy as he leaned over to pick up the bottle Scotty had indicated.”

“I’m telling ya, Captain, if you thought the Skagaran whiskey packed a wallop, it’s _nothing_ compared to this,” Scotty said, moving back against his door frame with his arms crossed, a grin on his face. 

“I don’t doubt your word,” he said as McCoy poured half a measure in his cup. Kirk raised his eyebrow at that.

“Trust me, Jim, that’s more than enough,” McCoy said. “Drink up.”

Kirk nodded and brought the glass to his lips, slamming it back. Just a few scant seconds later he felt tears springing to is eyes as his throat felt like it was on fire. “Shit!” he gasped out, nearly dropping the glass as he set it on the sink.

McCoy grabbed it from his tenuous grip and smirked as he got water for him. “Told you,” he said.

“What the hell is _in_ that?” Kirk said, his voice strained, moving his hands to his throat.

“Have no clue, but we never touch the stuff unless we’re _really_ pissed and we feel like torturing ourselves,” Scotty said, looking like he was trying not to laugh. McCoy handed Kirk the glass of water and Kirk gulped it down as fast as he could, not caring that some of it was dribbling down his chin and shirt.

“Oh, this is the best damn sight I’ve seen all week,” McCoy said with a chuckle. “Maybe even all month.”

“Shut up,” Kirk said, glaring at his friend when he was done with the glass. Scotty had an amused grin on his face.

“Well, least we can do is give you something good to take away the taste,” McCoy said. “Bar’s open, so...pick your poison.”

Kirk leaned back on the toilet and looked at all the different bottles of liquor. He eyed them all and pointed to the bottle closest to him that Scotty had pointed to earlier. “Aldebaran whiskey.”

“Good choice, Jim,” Scotty said with a nod. “I’ll take a double measure, Bones.”

“Do I look like a god damned bartender? Get your own,” McCoy said as he poured a drink for Kirk, though he didn’t seem _too_ upset. Kirk relaxed a bit more once McCoy handed him the drink. He had the feeling his evenings were going to be a lot more interesting from here on out, oh yes...


End file.
